This is my story to tell.

Now that I’ve got your attention, maybe you’ll hear me.

This is MY story to tell. I didn’t ask for it.

When did I get a choice?

You raised me in a religion devoid of love, family and trust. You didn’t ask if I wanted that.

You sat back while it burrowed a hole in my heart, while it destroyed all of us.

You let them shake their fingers at me, blaming my damaged heart for all of the upset in our family.

I was 17 years old. You sat in the car while the Elders manipulated me, abused me and took everything from me.

For 13 years, you have kept completely quiet.

I’ve been isolated, alienated, ostracized, shamed, humiliated and bullied.

You watched my own family treat me like dirt. Like I’m not fit to be under the same roof.

You watched, and nothing else.

And now you call me a bully and a coward, for telling my own story? My own truth?

I didn’t ask for this. You gave it to me. I’m not going to fucking carry it anymore. You can have it back.

I’m strong enough not to hide anymore.

I’m strong enough to put this out there, so I can help someone.

You wouldn’t risk the upset to help me.

I’m going to risk it to help others.

Advertisements

One thought on “This is my story to tell.

  1. Sandra Moses January 7, 2016 / 11:25 pm

    Naomi, I totally understand your feelings. I am going through the same thing right now. Growing up my parents were not parents. Sure we were spoiled, always had food etc but that was as far as the ‘parenting’ went. There was the fighting, the name calling (like really bad, disgusting name calling), growing and selling weed in the basement while having three small children. It was so embarrassing to have people over. I spent a good amount of time at my friends’ houses. Somehow as an adult I managed to gloss over everything from my childhood. ‘They weren’t that bad’ I would tell myself. ‘At least we weren’t beaten or abused’.

    I found out almost exactly one year ago that something more happened to my siblings while we were growing up. I decided right then and there I was done with that person. I would never speak to them again. And we were very close. Eventually it all came out to the whole family and I was so happy because I didn’t have to keep it a secret anymore like I was asked to. Fast forward to 9 months later….Nothing has changed. This person is not in jail like they should be. A certain family member still lives there and acts like nothing ever happened. Something did happen. How could you live with this person, see them everyday, and go places with them knowing what they did? I just don’t understand. How can someone choose the wrong-doer over the victim? So finally I decided I would no longer have a relationship with that person either. I was being a hypocrite.

    A couple weeks later I find out that another family has decided to no longer have me in their life because I stopped talking to the person that decided to stay with the wrong-doer. I was being ‘fucking selfish’. I ‘broke up the family’. Keep in mind that this is one of the victims saying this. The power these bad people have over so many other people just amazes me. People have stopped doing the right thing because they are comfortable where they are. Too scared to say or do anything. It was hard for me to cut these people out of my life but in my heart I know I was/ and still am doing the right thing. I am still very close to two of these family members and that’s all I need. I don’t need the negativity in my life. I am a much happier person. The only thing that needs to happen now is for that person to go to jail.

    So, sorry that ‘comment’ 😉 was so long. I just wanted to let you know that whether you know it or not you are helping people. Seeing how strong you are and willing to put it all out there makes me realize that I am a good person and I don’t need these people telling me I’m the bad one. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s